About A Girl

Haay… juice ko… as in super hirap mabuhay… Hahaha! Super nega ata ng vibes sa paligid ko. What a day!

Last Tuesday, we had our consultation and seminar at school. "My gahd" (nakuha ko lang to sa "Last order sa Penguin" mejo may tama pa ata akong nung play na un), the consultation is every eight in the morning while the seminar is every five in the afternoon! I repeat 5pm! Alas-singko ng hapon!!! See the gap between the two! Nakakainis no! And what am I going to do with (what? say) 8 hours! E parang normal sleep na un ah! O sige, sabihin na nating "e di manood ng sine…" Heller! Nagtitipid po ako! I’m broke, remember? So it was Tuesday. Hmmm… lovely morning! I only had five hours of sleep but I was feeling good that morning. Anyway, I took a bath, ate my breakfast then went off to Manila. I was already there before 8am (call time). Sooo sad… it doesn’t feel the same anymore. Wala nang dorm in cases of emergency (like if you want to sleep, if you don’t have a place to go, kung tumatawag ang kalikasan, at kung high tide sa bahaging paligid ng mga Isla ni Santo Tomas). I walked the street of Antonio (again and God I miss it sooo much!). At the back of my head, "damn! I don’t have a dorm to stay at anymore." So I went to the Central Library. After ten minutes or so, Maan called me. They were at the Main Building already. So I went there. My gahd (ulet!), limang minuto lang ang consultation. Pero okay lang kasi parang hindi na naalala ni Ma’am na two weeks na kaming hindi umaattend ng consultation. She was so excited to tell us that she already talked to ma’am vargas about the procedure of our thesis. She said Ma’am Vargas can help us. Bait noh! So we talked to Ma’am Vargas.

We saw our co-interns at Rm. 206. Daming chikka xmpre! Then we went to Jollibee to eat breakfast. Aba! Ang hotcake pala ngaun ay nilalagyan na rin ng screw! Take note malaki xa hindi maliit! Malaking SCREW! Anyway, hindi naman nakain ni Farrah kc kung nakain nya ang ganung kalaking screw e tanga na xa! hahaha!

It was almost eleven (a.m.) when we decided to leave. Some of us went to USTH. Some went home. I saw my cousin at USTH. Dun daw xa ngaun. Sawang-sawa na cguro sa kakaduty yun. Galing talaga un! Doctor ng family namin. Sana pati ung sister ko diba. Para marami, para masaya! (erase erase) para Libre! Hahaha! I called Reigna. Nagtanong ako kung dapat ba akong umuwi. Sabi nya manood na lang daw ako ng sine (like I always do!) Pero ang lungkot naman non, mag-isa. Sa festival lang naman ako nanonood ng movie mag-isa noh! Wala akong balak magpaka-autistic sa SM Manila or sa RP. I went to the cenlib again (obviously because I had nowhere to go). I called Jenna. Kagigising nya lang daw. At natutulog pa ang diwa nya. She told me that I can go to her place. Type something for her. Then, we could watch a movie.

We went to RP to watch Monster-in-law. Ayos! Nakakatawa at nakakatuwa! Kaso kc pinagdugtong lang namin yung movie e. Tapos heller! Ang haba haba ng trailer! San ka nakakita ng 40 minutes na trailer! Panalo ito! After the movie, we went to some stalls to look for a jersey. Unfortunately, wala kaming nakita. In fairness, namiss ko talaga c Jenna. Tagal ko na tlga kc xa nakakasama. What I miss more is when she calls me. Wala lang tatawag lang un para makipagchikahan ever! Kahit 2 hours na kame sa phone ok lang. Taking about life and nothingness! (Ay pa-deep ang lola mo!)

We went back to her place half past four. Then we’re off to school. After the seminar, I had to go to the hospital because we were on duty that night. Argh! Super pagod ka na, tapos kaylangan pa ring pumasok! Ano ba?! Buti na lang that night andun cla ate Ria and ate Jay-ann. Sagot na nila ung warding at info. Morning. Text text sa mga tao. I was talking to Kael that morning (ewan ko nga kung ano tlgang nangyari dahil nakatulog ako bigla hehehe!) Nagising ako mga 10 to six na. Nahiya pa nga ako kc baka may nakakita sa kin na AM staff na natutulog. Hehehe! Pero wala naman. We also had our exam that morning sa Bacte. Hindi daw kc kame nagdidilute ng TSB. Hindi na daw namin kc kino-compare sa MacFarland Standard. Ung test namen? Write the procedure on Sensitivity testing five times. I repeat FIVE TIMES! Langya pa nga c doi e, tagalog ba naman ang sinulat! Kung naisip ko rin bang pwdeng magtagalog e, e di sana ganon na rin ang gawa ko! Hehehe!

Nakauwi na ko non, mga before eleven. I took the LRT to Cubao, the MRT to Magallanes then a bus to Alabang. That was the first time na nakalibre ako sa bus! How the hell did it happen? Actually, magbabayad sana ako pero pagdating sa Alabang. Ok baba na! Baba na! So bumaba ako! I went to Festival to eat lunch. Autistic noh! I forgot to mention, I bought a new book. Yun ngang "Last order sa Penguin." I was supposed to buy another book but it was sort of distorted. I asked a saleslady for another copy, e wala na raw. Kaya un na lang. I first heard about it, 2003 (I think). Yun kc ung play ng Teatro Tomasino. I was not able to watch it. Sobrang nakakainis! Pero ok lang. I guess ang dahilan ko na naman was that "I was busy." Argh! Gasgas na ung linyang yon!

1:30 na cguro ako nakapaglunch non. I was reading my new book while eating at McDo. Oh di ba, naghanap muna ng ka-date. Hahaha! (eto pala ung day na nalaman kong magkakilala ung parents namin ni Kael, sabi nya e…) Then I went home. It was already 5pm when I went to bed. Nagising ako ng 9pm pero hindi ako kumain. I was too sleepy to even think about food. Pagod nga cguro ako. I woke up 4am na. Kaninang umaga na pala to. I got up. First morning urine (ano yan? Specimen?!) Natulog ulit. After an hour, nagising ulit. Tapos tinapos ko na ung second part ng book. I took a bath, had breakfast (again), then went to QC. Ayun kaninang umaga, apat lang kame. I lent my book to Mae.

Work. Work. And more work.

Tamang sakit at tamang ulcer ang makukuha ko dito sa hospital e. Lunch namin 2pm! Exag! Mejo toxic kc knna. E konti nga kami diba…

5:30pm. We left the hospital. Naku ayoko nang magkwento. Let’s just say na may bagong telenovela sa paligid ko. Malapit-lapit na nga bang matapos o nagsisimula pa lang? Asus! Nagmamaasim! (sabi nga ni Maam Maya)

Something weird. I received a message: "can u b my txtm8?" Ano ba?! I replied: "N0" Then he called. Xa daw si Marc. I thought it was a friend of mine. Weird nga e kz sinagot ko ung phone ko kanina. I don’t usually do that. So there, we talked. I hanged up the phone because I had to take the MRT to Magallanes.

Now I’m online again. Obvious naman db…

May isang kilos protesta: "hehe alam mu. Mg wewelga me pasaway Yang BLOG SA FRENDSTER GAGAWA ME VIRUS TATANGALIN KO YN.lalo nat alam ko kelan ka ngbubukas"

Addict sa blog? De no… online journal lang to. Gusto ko lang magsulat.

I have to sleep. Nyt pa ko bukas! Yahoooooo! Nytnyt! (exits)

***I saw this posted at friendster bulletin board. one of those trite [if not sappy] romantic-slash-heart-breaking stories posted in the internet. read on!

Edsa, 4:30 am. Miguel’s cellphone rings. Mama,
the name flashes on
the screen.

"You should really get that."

"No, you should get that. She’s been waiting for
you. She insist that
we go straight to her after I pick you up form the
airport. She also
insist that you spend tomorrow with her." Miguel
was talking about her
mother. Miguel was an only child and his mother
wanted a daughter. She
would often tell Bea that since she doesn’t have a
mom anymore, she should
let Tita Doris be her second mom. She loved Bea
as if she were her own
daughter.
"Hello? Yes, Tita. How are you nap po?… ah opo.
Miguel already told
me.Sige po. Okay po. I’ll see you later." She turns
off the phone and
looks out the window. The phone rings again, this
time the name "Sugar"
flashes on the screen. Hmmm, "Sugar." He was
quick. He got a hold of the
phone and answered it. "Hello. Yeah. Pauwi na.
I’m with her na. Yeah.
Tomorrow, I will. Promise. We’ll see you
tomorrow."

We? Is that supposed to mean me and him? See
Sugar? Who is Sugar,
anyway? "Who was that?" she couldn’t keep
herself from asking. "Sugar ha?"

"I’ll introduce her tomorrow. Uwi muna tayo sa
bahay. By the way,
kamusta na si Edward?"
"Edward?"
"Oo, si Edward, naalala mo yung boyfriend na
iniwan mo sa New York?
Anong klase ka ba naming girlfriend? Kaya hindi
kita niligawan eh. Baka
makalimutan mo rin ako."

"Ah si Edward. Hayun. Nasa New York." Miguel
has met Edward when he
came to New York to give Bea a surprise visit. He
seems a nice guy. Not
the
geeky economist Miguel pictured Bea would end
up with. He is
actually a cool guy and loves Bea a lot.

"He called me up, a week ago, asking a lot of
things about you.
Parang may balak ata?"

"Balak na?"
"Tell me, did he propose to you? He sounded like
he was going to
propose to you kasi."

"Ah look, here we are at Tita Doris."

At Tita Doris’, 4:45 am. A pleasantly plump
woman enters the living
room. She was in her mid-fifties, a familiar warm
smile and two open arms.
She welcomed Bea, gave her a big hug and
kissed her on the cheek. "Hay
anak, kamusta ka na? Na-miss na kita. Pinakain
ka ba nito si Miguel?"
"Opo, Tita." She looked around. Not much has
changed in this house.
She remembers spending her college days in this
house. She remembers
sinking into Tita Doris’ arms when her mom died.
She remembers only good
things about this woman. She can’t remember a
time when she had been unkind
to her and yes, she loves her like her own mother.

"Iha, sabihan mo nga yang si Miguel. Sabihin
mo ‘wag padalos-dalos
magdesisyon."

"Po?"
"Mama naman. Let Bea rest. I’ll tell her
everything tomorrow."
Miguel interrupted his mother before she can spill
the beans.
"Ha? What was that all about?" Bea was
curious.

"Bukas na lang."
"Okay. Tita, if it’s okay I’ll go rest now." She
hugged her, and
proceeded to climb the stairs. Miguel followed her
carrying her
luggage.

"Alam mo I missed this house. Uy sino ba si
Sugar? Tsaka bakit
parang worried nanay mo sa iyo?"

"Bukas na. Sugar is having lunch here."

"Hmmm, intriguing, pero sige. Bukas na." They
were both standing as
the door to the guest room. "Alam mo, it’s really
good to be back in
this house. I’ll see you tomorrow."

Tita Doris’ 10:00 am. She woke up, sunlight
flooding her bedroom. She
was able to rest. She got up, arranged the bed
sheets and took a nice,
cold shower. Minutes later, she was down at the
garden having brunch with
Tita Doris.

"Hi! Tita. Where is Miguel?"

"Sinundo si Sugar."

"Sino ba yang Sugar na yan? Nai-intriga na ako."

"Iha, I’ll let Miguel tell you who Sugar is. Promise
me something,
though. Whatever happens you’ll always be my
daughter, Bea?"
She felt scared. Why was Tita Doris suddenly
serious? "Opo naman."

"Anyway, iha. I heard from Miguel your boyfriend
sounded like he was
going to propose a week ago. Did he propose?"
Bea looked at her hands, bare of any engagement
ring. She looked at
Tita Doris and smiled. Before she could answer,
Miguel showed up. With him
is a woman she had not seen before. She was of
medium frame, shoulder length
hair and looked very feminine.
"Sugar, the sister I never had, Bea. Bea, Sugar,
my fiance`." It felt
as if somebody had thrown cold water on her. His
what? Blood rushed to her
head.
She blushed. Her cheeks felt very warm. She
couldn’t swallow. Her heart
beating a hundred beats per minute.
"Your what?" She looked at Miguel, blushing then
suddenly white as with
shock. "I’m sorry, Sugar but this is quite a
surprise. Miguel has never
mentioned you in any of his e-mails," she said as
she looked at Sugar
with a confused look. She looked at Tita Doris, she
looked back as if she was
consoling her.
"Yeah, I got engaged. I’m keeping my promise. I’m
getting married on
Saturday. O di ba you’re here so in essence I’ve
kept my promise."
She managed to smile faintly. She hugged Miguel
and congratulated him.
She even managed to tell Sugar "You got a catch
here, girl. Take good care
of him or else I will snatch him under your nose." It
sounded as if she
was just joking, turning over a very important
possession to it’s next
owner.
In the deepest recesses of her person, she knew
she meant it.
"He told me a lot of nice things about you." Sugar
said, smiling at her
as if they had been friends for the longest time.
"I’m sure he has."

Lunch was served. All of Bea’s favorite Filipino
dishes. She and Sugar
spent time chatting the afternoon away, looking at
Bea’s and Miguel’s college college
photos and yearbooks. She found out that Sugar
likes most of the things
she does. They both came from the same high
school. As she tried to get to
know Sugar better during their afternoon chat, she
realized that not only
was she perfect for Miguel, she also seemed like
the best gal pal Bea could
find. They talked about the wedding details, the
dress, the ring, the shoes,
the tiara. They like almost the same places, the
same styles, the same
shops.
She told Sugar they should do shopping marathon
together.
Had it been another day, she would be telling
herself that this is really a
great opportunity to find someone who
understands her shopping needs.
Except that this is not one of those days? Except
that this woman, this
perfect, feminine girlfriend was Miguel’s fiance`.
Bea’s phone rings. The name Boyfriend flashes.

"You should really get that" Sugar told Bea.

"Yeah, I guess I should. Hello? Yes? I’m good. I’m
here at Miguel’s. Oh
I have in front of me Sugar, Miguel’s fiance`." The
words almost got
stuck in her throat, but she still managed to give
Sugar a smile. "Listen, I’ll
call you later. I have very good news for you."
Miguel sat down beside Bea. Sugar was looking at
them and asked "So
tell me? Was there never a time the two of you
were more than Platonic?" Bea and
Miguel looked at each other then looked at their
own hands. Miguel’s
gaze turned to Sugar. He answered "Of course
not. Bea and I were never like
that."
"As in?" Sugar inquired.

"LOL, oo naman. She was a handful. Too much to
handle for me. I can’t
keep up with her. She’s never stands still." Miguel
looked at Bea and
smiled, his eyes turning into slits as his dimples
gloriously show.
"I guess that’s the way for you. But not for
Edward." Bea replied, with
a little hint of disappointment.

"Okay lang yun. Edward is tough enough." Miguel
was still smiling.

"Wait, speaking of Edward. I need to call him."
Edward.
Here goes. Yes. The answer is Yes."
*********

The wedding went well. It was one of the most
elegant weddings she had
seen. Sugar had everything covered and she was
a very beautiful, blushing
bride.
"I, Miguel, take you, Sugar, as my friend and love,
beside me and apart
from me, in laughter and in tears, in conflict and
tranquility, asking that
you be no other than yourself, love what I know of
you, trusting what I do
not know yet, in all the ways that life may find us."
Bea felt a stab of pain hitting her heart. She
slowly got up, walked
away from the spectators. Tears streaming down
her flushed cheeks.

************

Bea is once again on her way to the airport.
Miguel is driving for her,
this time with a wedding ring on his left finger.
"Hay, here we go again. I’m driving you to the
airport. Kailan na naman
kaya tao magkikita?"
"Ewan ko. Tell me something," her tone all too
serious. "What was it
that you love about Sugar? How did you know she
was the one?" Miguel just
smiled.
"Dali na ano? Malay mo I need to decide in a
couple of days dib a?"

"You know what I love about her? The same
things I loved about you
before. The only difference is that she’s not as
ambitious as you are. When you
left for New York two years ago, I knew I don’t
have a place in the life
you’ve chosen. I don’t blame you for that. You’re
good in your field and I
thought to myself that it’s your right to move on
without me. Moving away was a
decision you made for yourself. I know this
sounds silly and you might
nag me about it but I found the better version of
you in Sugar.
She’s so much like you in so many ways but the
only difference is she loves
me more than you do."

She wanted to cry the tears she had kept as he
witnessed him say his
vows, but kept her composure. She just chuckled
a laugh. How could he move on
without her? Why was it easy for him and not for
her? As she got off
the car, she gave Miguel one last hug. This time
she felt her heart heavy.

"I guess this is goodbye?" she told Miguel.

"Wait, I’m not letting you out until you answer
question. Did Edward
propose?"
Bea showed Miguel her left hand. In it was a one
carat diamond
solitaire ring set in platinum. "Yes."
Miguel let out a sigh and congratulated her. As
Miguel turned his gaze
from the steering wheel to Bea’s face, he saw a
single tear fall from her
right eye and then she said, "If it gives any
consolation. Edward was the
best version of you that I can find in New York."

I’LL REMEMBER [Madonna] [from "With Honors" -1994]

SAY GOODBYE
NOT KNOWING WHEN
THE TRUTH IN MY WHOLE LIFE BEGAN
SAY GOODBYE
NOT KNOWING HOW TO CRY
YOU TAUGHT ME THAT

NOW I’LL NEVER BE AFRAID TO CRY
NOW I FINALLY HAVE THE REASON WHY
I’LL REMEMBER

***After watching ‘With Honors’, this song kept playing in my head for about a week or so. It was a very nice film. Watch it if you have time. 

***RETURN TO INNOCENCE - Enya

***Maybe you are wondering why i posted this… Read [perhaps listen] to the lyrics. It’s wonderful. i heard this song this morning at the laboratory. it was the first time i actually listened to the lyrics of the song. i fell in love with it.

Argh! I know his name already!!! N I C K  C A N N O N ! Whew! I looked it up at google.

++++++++++++++++++++++ This thingy [below] is about ‘DRUMLINE’ which was released on December 13, 2002.

For fans of America’s show-style marching bands, halftime is game time.

A squad of players, some 300 strong and armed with musical instruments, takes over the field, commanding attention with their stirring, spectacular display of choreography and musicianship.

The football contest’s controlled mayhem makes way for the blaring sound of trumpets and the heart-thumping rhythm of drums. Their sounds are rousing and rhythmic, exhilaratingand entertaining, flamboyant and funky. As the bands pulsate and parade onto the gridiron, they are, for many, the real attraction of the game.

As as team, they sport their own stars: a tuba player, a clarinetist, or a trumpeteer. Like a quaterback leading his team to victory, the drumline, a troupe of talented percussionists whose cadenced rhythm rocks the rafters of any dome, bring crowds to their feet with their daring feats of music and athleticism.

Into this rigorous, ritualistic world comes a kid from a different culture. Devon Miles, a young, gifted hip-hop drummer on the school’s renowned marching band’s drumline. Devon, sporting a talent that is both raw and undisciplined, has one problem : He marches to the beat of his own drum.

Surmounting overwhelming odds, he snares a spot as a starter, much to the disdain of a resentful senior class band member, Sean Taylor, who dismisses the freshman’s skills as bogus. When Taylor discovers something amiss about Devon’s abilities, he alerts Dr.Lee, the school’s demanding, dedicated band director, who suspects that the upstart talent may have duped the school into awarding him his scholarship. That situation threatens not only Devon’s future at the scholl but, more immediately, his spot on the band’s drumline just before the heralded Big Southern Classic, one of the region’s most popular musical competition, spotlighting some of the area’s best college bands and the winner-take-all jackpot of $100,000 for the school.

Now, with so much money, and possibly his own job, at stake, can Dr.Lee afford to pass up such a prize by keeping his star drumer onthe sidelines?

++++++++++++++++++++++ i got it from http://www.movies-studio.com/movies/drumline/synopsis.html

His real name is Nicholas Scott Cannon. I remember Ms. Jamie everytime i see him [may it be in movies or the net]. We both like him. Kc mahilig din sa movies si Ms. Jamie. Everytime she sees a cool flick on tv, she texts me. I recall there was this one time that she saw Drumline on star movies. She texted me. It was funny because we were both watching it already! She said she liked the flick too. Then, i said to her that i think the one who played Miles [Nick] is cute. She agreed with me na super kinikilig. Crush nya rin daw c Nick! Hahah! Yun nga lang before hindi pa namin alam ung name nya. Basta nagkakaintindihan na kaming xa na nga un! Hahaha!

I wasn’t actually going to write anything about him today. It’s just that when i went online, i remembered him [and that i didn't know his name]. So there i looked it up. Share ko lang na maganda ung DRUMLINE so if u got nothing to do, watch it!

Mamaya na lang din ako magkkwento about my experiences today. Puro histopath nga ung kwento ko e [marami kc kaming gawa kanina]. Anyway, manonood muna ako ng tv!

Bye! [or shall i say 'see you later!' ]   

I saw Drumline today! I have a huge crush on that actor who played the role of Devon Miles [or was it a different name?]. Anyway, he was sooo cute! Argh! I still don’t know his name.

I just came in from the hospital [maybe a couple of hours ago]. I was supposed to be here by noon but my co-interns, together with our staff decided to play pictionary. Nahahalata mo na bang mga addict sa pictionary ang mga taong lab ng QCMC. Hehehe! Anyway, Jobert, Maan, Jen and Ma’am A were my team mates. Ma’am Cookie, Obie, farrah, Mae and Doi were on the other group. It was sooo fun! Nice game actually. We won the first match [hahah! as if! ano yan tournament?!]. Then on the second round, we realized that we were not following the rules of the game so we decided to restart the match. Back to zero. Our last game was really cool actually. The game was sooo close. Both teams got to the finish line. The only thing we were fighting about was who will guess the "all play word". Bottom line is that we won! Woohoo! Good game.

Argh! What happened to me yesterday? Well, i went to QCMC yesterday [obviously]. I left the house around 3pm. Thank God i wasn’t late. I didn’t want to extend or anything [as if we didn't]. We were not so busy yesterday so we decided to play after eating dinner. Sir Vynz was still there. He also joined the game. Well, Sir Alvin and i were team mates. Jobert, Maan and Tepie [plus Sir Vynz] were on the other team. Nakakatuwa nga c Sir Vynz e, nag-eenjoy daw xa sa game. Weird xa, nakakatuwa tlga! Bottom line: We lost! hahaha! E pano ba naman andun c Sir Vynz, magaling un e. Anyway, bawi na lang kame ni Sir Alvin next time. Handicap match ito [ano yan WWE?!]. 4 versus 2! You and me against the world ang drama. hahaha! just playin’! korni non ah!

And so the game was over. ten o’clock na rin non, endorsement na rin ng staff. nga pla, i forgot to say na c maam maya e nandun din. kaso hindi kc xa sumali. c henry naman absent. c ate em naman busy sa labas. cguro nahihiya din xang sumali. haay…basta darating din ung time na sasali na rin sila. =) Game over na nga. I went out when ate Em said that we have work to do in histopath. Pucha! Seryoso! i almost cried yesterday dahil anim yung specimen. I didn’t know what to do. Not that i totally don’t know what to do pero kc dahil nga sa nangyari sa kin sa bacte di ba… i don’t want to make any more mistakes. Una sa lahat, hassle kc aayusin mo ung gusot mo. next thing is nakakahiya naman sa staff diba.. i don’t like to give them any problems. Buti na lang andun pa c sir vynz. Tinulungan nya ko with the opd case. kc kailangan ng PF for Doc Cruz. So there, he helped me. I really think he is a good person. Mabait xa promise. Maiilang ka lang cguro kc he’s [in a way] weird. weird na taste. Nung afternoon nga kahapon, nag-gross kame. I asked him kung gaano na xa katagal sa histopath. Siguro wala pang nakakapagtanong sa kanya non kaya super tagal nyang nag-isip. One year na rin pala. Matagal na rin pala kc xa sa lab. Sabi pa nga nya, gusto na raw nya tuloy umalis [after i asked that question]. i asked him why. Sabi nya feeling nya raw kc ang tagal tagal nya na doon. Magffile na raw xa ng resignation letter k Ma’am Au. Hahaha! Of course, he’s kidding. Pag tinanong daw xa kung bakit sasabihin nyang dahil sa isang intern na nagtanong kung ilang taon na xa sa histopath. hahaha! i don’t know if he’s joking or what but he said he wants to be the chief medtech of that lab. of course, it’s a long way to go. years of experience pa. anyway, that night, he asked me to do the cell block for him. the last time he did a cell block, he taught me and farrah how to do it. We only watched him do it. Yesterday, he asked me to do it myself. So he reminded me of how it is done. [xmpre hindi ko un naabsorb! i was sooo freakin' nervous and overwhelmed sa dami ng specimen na dumating. buti naman sana kung paisa-isa lang. e hindi e, anim ata un o walo!]. dahil nga sobrang gusto ko nang umiyak kahapon nasabi ko tuloy sa kanya, "ayoko na po dito!" [i meant it that night pero xmpre pabiro kong cnabi. anyway, i'm taking it back, xmpre kelangan kong magrotate sa histopath noh]. he said, "no! you are doing okay!" soooo comforting! sarap nya cguro maging kuya. i mean, i felt a lot of tension yesterday dahil ayokong magkamali pero nung sinabi nya yon parang wow! thank you! for trusting me and believing i can do it. it was some sort of motivation for me actually. how i wish na walang mali sa ginawa ko last night. ayoko rin naman kc xang bigyan ng sakit ng ulo. nahihiya kc ako sa kanya. i hope tama ung ginawa ko sa cell block pati sa pull apart.

10pm endorsement ng staff. Sir Eric was on duty last night. Isa pang kalaro sa pictionary. Yun nga lang, ang tagal kong naghistopath kagabi kc hindi ko pa naman tlga gamay ung trabaho dun. 1am na ata ako natapos non. Tapos pinakinggan nya ung purplechickens kahapon. Indie pala un. anyway, hindi mainstream ang music nila. pero astig kc may album na cla diba. cla maan, jobs at ate em, tinulugan kame. hehehe! kaya un tatlo lang kaming nagpictionary. pustahan: balut! hehehehe! Panalo kame ni tepietoots! E kaso wala na ung balut vendor e. tinutukso pa nga namin c sir eric na magMcdo na lang kme. E ayun nakakita xa ng taho vendor sa tapat ng mcdo. Sarap! tagal na rin akong hindi nakakakain ng taho. Sarap pare! Lalo na kc libre. Tapos un kumain din kame ng pansit, may baon kc c Sir Eric. Nice noh! Nagshare kame sa baon niya. Haay, ewan ko kung art sessions na naman ung usapan kanina. Malapit na rin kc ung bday ni tepie. The thing is they want to celebrate it with our co-interns. So we have to plan it… ewan ko kung tuloy or what. if i have some cash, cguro pupunta ko. i’m broke as of the moment. ni hindi nga ako makalabas at makanood ng sine e. buti na lang hindi ako nakakaranas ng withdrawal symptoms. After magkwentuhan, nagkayayaan na ng rematch. Pictionary na naman! But we received a call from ICU. Extraction. Sir Eric and Jobs went up to do it. I went to our bat cave to lie down. Pag gising ko 6:30am na! Sir Eric left already [hindi ko na xa nakita umalis, buti nga naiintindihan nyang pagod tlga ako kc nakapagdeck ako mula 5 hanggang 6:30. hehehe! hindi man lang nila ako ginising]. kanina fiesta kela obie kaya nagdala xa ng food. hindi ako kumain kc parang nasusuka ako. nahiga nalang ulit ako sa bat cave. ayun! they woke me up saying that we are going to leave already. bratinella na naman ako! i didn’t want to talk, moody noh! pakshet! arte tlga ko mnsan e! i got up, went in the lab, got my time card, went straight downstairs. When i got back at the lab, they told me, "Nag-out ka na pla." I really thought they did already. Tapos un, napagusapan ang lovelife ni jobertz. tapos un nga nakwento ko na kanina, we stayed there until 12:30pm kc may match ng pictionary. Now i’m home and online again. hahaha!

I was talking to Reigna last night. Something made me feel horrible. But i’m fine now. Some sense finally got into my head. Anyway, i’m okay. Umuulan na. I better post this. I want to sleep na din. I’m sooo tired! Argh! umalis sila papunta ng pansol. Hala! umuulan! how sad…

have to go! kakain muna ko! i’m sooo hungry! i forgot to eat lunch… heheh!

bye! [exits]      

damn! i was supposed to post something yesterday. it was sooo freakin’ crazy! Stupid actually! i erased the whole thing! It was supposed to be about Game Seven and other stuff that happened to me at the hospital. Well, it’s gone. I guess i just have to retell the whole damn thing! Haha! Just kidding!

So many people has been sending me messages. Salamat!

Spurs won!!!!! Astig! [saka ko na lang ikkwento ulet...tinatamad ako...besides, i have to go to the hospital today. nyt kc ako...]

Our relatives flew in from California just yesterday. Hmm… i wonder how they are. Anyway, they are planning to have a get-together party tomorrow. They are going to Pansol. well, obviously, i’m not going to be able to go because i will have to sleep tomorrow morning. I’m really getting tired most of these days. Still looking forward to that much needed rest. Haay.. kelan kaya un? I also have to go to QC on Monday morning for my duty. Toxic!

I saw this guy [the one who made my days brighter] last tuesday at school. At first i was soooo excited! but then on my way home, it was as if everything has suddenly changed. [Dead stars ba ito?!] The feeling i had before had gone. no magic. no butterflies in my stomach [pucha! hahaha! kadiri talaga to oh! biro lang tong term na to ha]. i mean, there’s nothing. i just thought at first that i was sooo excited to see him finally after a long time. but then, wala na…Goodbye tootlez na ba ito?! haay… i still think he is this super nice person. he’s a good man. almost like an angel. haay…how sad…

i sent ate jo a message today! i miss her soooo much!!!! haay, hindi ko pa pala nasasabi sa kanyang umalis na ko ng dorm. it happened sooo fast. basta miss ko na xa…

next time na ulit… still have to go to the hospital. it’s past two already! argh! bye!

Damn! What day is it? Ang bilis ng oras. June 21 na! Haay… You know what I realized the past few days? I’m happy. I really am. There are sooo many people that make me happy… I remember Jim Carrey saying in one film, “I could die right now. I’m just… happy. I’ve never felt that before. I’m just exactly where I want to be.” I mean, I still have my share of life’s complications yet I feel satisfied. Things don’t turn out the way I want them but I’m okay. It’s like they can say whatever they want to say but I’m okay. I’m loving life—my life. It’s absolutely crazy! Anyway, enough about that…

How long has it been since I last posted? I can’t even count the days anymore. It’s been a week. Just today, I checked my friendster account and I received at least five messages from people that I don’t actually know (but it’s nice though, I mean, not many people send me messages or things like that. So there, I added them as friends haha!) I woke up half past four this morning. I never realized that I skipped dinner last night. Not that I want to but I was sooo freakin’ tired that I can’t even get up to go downstairs and have dinner with my family. I had sooo much to do (obviously I failed to do them). I really really needed to rest. Why? (Because I can! Just kidding. You know that line? It’s from the movie Bikini Open. Still can’t believe my friends talked me into watching that flick.) I had my 24-hour duty last Sunday. It was sooo freakin’ crazy! It was as if I wasn’t on duty that Sunday. It was sooo cool! Sunday Morning. I woke up a little late than usual. I said to myself. It’s okay! It’s Sunday. There’s no traffic. True, I wasn’t late. (Don’t you just love Sundays?) Our laboratory is (sort of) falling apart. First, the old school centrifuge (the one that we are using today) is having tantrums again. (I think it was a Wednesday when the other centrifuge broke down, literally!) Second, our MHA in the Bacte Section are ALL contaminated. We can’t make a new one because the autoclave is not available on Sundays. Oh, I forgot to mention that last Wednesday the sink in the lab broke. I think a pipe got disconnected or something and as you know the water supply was continuous so the lab was (a little) flooded that day. Whew! Ain’t it great! No prob! We just laughed our asses off about it. Sir vynz, sir Alvin and ma’am Mhay were there. Thank God Ma’am Au (our chief med tech) wasn’t there. She’ll panic, of course! Okay enough about Wednesday. So there we all were. We just got there when the nurse upstairs called to get some results. They were having problems about the logged results. They can’t find the results for the patient. Oh that’s the other problem. We had no more supply of folders and fasteners. (yung mga records, nakakalat na.) But I think they already resolved it. That afternoon, Sir Alvin and Sir Eric were on duty. (Pasaway talaga!) Naglaro kami ng pictionary! It was sooo fun! Kulit ng mga staff namin! Nakikipaglaro ng pictionary! Ang saya saya talaga! Sir Alvin and Maan were my team mates. Ayaw kc akong kakampi ni Sir Eric. Not that he hates me, ganon lang tlga kame magbiruan. Napakamatampuhin kc non, hindi ko daw xa kc favorite kaya ayaw nya sa kin. Hmmp! No comment! (but in fairness, he taught me many things, yun nga lang ang reklamo nya e hindi ko naman daw inaapply. We both like alternative music and Filipino bands kaya magkasundo kame. May dala nga xang Hale CD e. “Kaberks” (term nya) ko nmn xa, db..) So yun, sila ate Em and Henry hindi sumali. Kc warding and info silang dalawa. Mahirap din na walang tao sa labas. Nakakatawa yung mga drawing namin. Basta lang makahula! Naman! C jobs, c ate maj at c Sir Eric naman sa kabilang team. C tepie ung arbiter namin. Sa kanya kc ung pictionary, malamang magaling na xa dun. I had sooo much fun. We had dinner at McDonald’s (pero take out lang). Nakakatuwa kc sabay-sabay kami magdinner sa staff room. I feel sooo lucky na World Citi ung first in ko. Tapos nag last game pa kami nung gabi bago umuwi cla sir. C ma’am cookie yung staff namin na night duty. Sir Eric left his CD at the lab. In-endorse nya na lang sa’kin sa phone bka daw kc mawala. I was at the Chem Sect that time when he called. I answered the phone. He said, “Hello. Pwede kc Jc?” Sabi ko, “Sino to?” hehehe! Naman! E nagulat ako diba! Sino namang tatawag sakin sa lab?! Sabi nya na parang natatawa, “Hoi c Sir Eric mo to?” Hahaha! Sabi ko na lang, “Ui Sir Eric. Hale? Naiwan mo.” Tapos un in-endorse nya na lang. Hindi na rn kami nakalaro nung gabi na. C ma’am cookie kc busy sa crossmatching. Old skul pa ung centri kaya galit na galit xa. Sabi pa nga ni tepie, three hours (literal ito!) syang nagcrossmatch. Hindi ko na naabutan yon kc nakatulog na ko sa may recep area. Super pagod na rin kc. I woke up quarter to six. June 20 na non! Aba! Last day ko na sa bacte! Damn pare! Nag-eencode c ma’am Jan non nung binigyan nya ko ng DEMERIT!!!! Oo! MAKE-UP! Waaah! On my last day! On my last day! Haay… Hindi naman ako naiyak o naghisterya! Hindi ko naman ugali yon. Umiiyak lang ako pag nasa kwarto ako o kapag nanonood ako ng nakakaiyak na movie. (mi gudness naalala ko tuloy nung nanood kami ng million dollar baby, sobrang I tried to stop my tears from falling, I swear, I really tried kaya un nung hindi ko na kinayanan e sobrang napaiyak ako. Sappy! Sobra! Asar! Tawa naman ng tawa ung mga walang-hiya kong kaibigan.) Anyway, I got 7 days make-up for not doing a thio for one specimen and another 7 days for the wrong charge that the nurse made. Moreover, I owe Ma’am Jan 300 pesos for the said test. Natakot lang ako nung una kc ung blood c/s e one thou plus. I thought I was going to pay for all that. Pero hindi naman. Ung balance na lang. So it’s okay. Not so okay kc pang sine ko dapat un. Ayan! Hala! Hindi na ko nakaipon-ipon! Grrrr! Nagkwentuhan pa kame sa bat cave bago kami tuluyan umalis. C “Sir” Odan kc nakipagchikahan. Game 5 nga pala kahapon ng NBA Finals. Spurs vs. Pistons! Tapos ayun umuwi na kame agad. I chose an ordinary bus to Alabang for that day so that I can watch even at least the final minutes of the match. I even wished that there would be overtime so that I could watch the game. The jeepney was at Susana Heights toll gate when I heard some sort of radio broadcaster (I think) say the word “Wallace.” I was like, “Oh my God, may game pa ata!” I rushed to our house and quickly turned on the tv. I didn’t even change my clothes. It was the last 36 seconds of the fourth quarter. Pistons’ ball. Scores tied. They missed the shot. Good defense from the Spurs. Time out. Popovich set a play for Manu. He missed the shot. Overtime! Last minute of overtime. Scores again tied. Time out Brown. Pistons scored a two, gaining the upperhand. Time out Popovich. 16 more seconds. In-bound Horry to Ginobili. Trapped in the corner, Manu passed it Horry. Free to fire the three. He let it fly. Scores. Time out Brown. Duncan, sooo relieved and thankful, hugged Horry. Time in. Set up play for Bill-ups. No good. Again Spurs defense won. Alas! Clock was out! Big shot Bob (Horry hates to be called Big shot Bob or even Big shot Bobby [as Duncan calls him]) did it again. Game six at San Antonio on June 22 9:00am Manila time. I can still remember, I almost cried when the Pistons scored a two to gain the upperhand. Then, Horry got his shot. I jumped off my seat and started screaming. Don’t care if our neighbors would hear. I just screamed my lungs out! And back to my seat again waiting for the clock to run out. Whew! Thank God they won! I took a shower after that and went straight to Festival Mall. I bought some colored papers because we are going to fix the Bacte section. It was almost four when my sister went in. Feeling ko nga gusto nya akong takutin. I was taking pictures that time. I saw her walking upstairs as if trying to find me. Ayan, sya tuloy ang nagulat ko hehehe! Spoiler! We ate merienda. Sabi nya, “Gusto ko sana ung healthy. Ung mabubusog ako.” We ended up at this store buying a bottle of coke and chi-chi’s. “Healthy” chichirya pala ang gusto nya. Hehehe! I went to bed around 5pm. A friend of mine texted me (or was it me who texted first? I don’t remember anymore.) Hmmp! Sbi nya, mukha daw akong addict sa primary pic ko sa friendster. Payat ko na daw kc. With our schedule, it’s impossible to get enough sleep. Anyway, when the conversation ended, I closed my eyes and slept.

Nobela ito! Haba na noh… I’m going to school today. We have a seminar. I don’t even know where to go. Anyway, it will be just a one hour seminar which will start at 5 pm. Still have to wash my clothes. Gotta go! Hahaha! Bye!      

Yup! It’s a beautiful sunday morning! The sunrise was such a great scenario. And guess what? It is a holiday! Araw ng Kalayaan mga noypi! It may be just another holiday for us but this is a reminder of what the heroes of yesterday fought for us. Let’s be grateful of their hardships that today we have our own identity. Or are we truly free? Perhaps not. But hey i’m not in a good mood today because i’m sooo tired. I just got off my duty at the hospital. i guess i won’t talk about political stuff today though it’s our independence day.

Yesterday i went to QC for my night duty. One heck of a night! Is this an all out day? Closet queens coming out in the open. Laugh trip ito! I was washing some test tubes and they were fooling around. Can’t help it! Laughed my ass off! BTW, last night, i was with Jobert, Ate maj, Lionel and Jenny. Our staff was Ma’am Maya. I didn’t sleep because i didn’t want to. It just seems to me that when i sleep, it doesn’t give me much rest. I just get more tired after sleeping. So why sleep, right? I just played ‘Killer’ (as usual). oh, just to kill time. Hehehe! 4am. I went to the ninth floor for an HGT. Then, 5am. More HGT. Sir Eric and Maam A were on duty today.

Oooh, the LRT are taking part on the celebration of this holiday. No need to pay for your ticket from 7am to 9am. I don’t know if they extended it or anything. all i know is i got a free ride today! =) And you know what’s funny? i walked out of the laboratory thinking about home and festival mall. i was sooo excited about the free LRT ride. so i was at Cubao already when i realized that i don’t have my cellphone with me. That, absolutely, drove me crazy! not that i became hysterical or anything like that. one bad trip! i had to walk back to Aurora Blvd. to take a jeepney ride to Anonas. (Argh! I asked the driver, "Magkano po sa World Citi?" He said, "Ahh naku, saan yun?" Hala! Hindi nya alam kung nasan ang World Citi e heller ang laki laki kaya non! Then i said, "Sa Anonas po." He said, "Ahh, e ayun ang sasabihin mo. five fifty." I remembered one time i took a jeep to Anonas, i paid twelve pesos! Argh!) So i went there, saw sir eric and cherry liberty (whose birthday is today) and madam. got my phone. then i went to Cubao (again!). I took a bus to pacita. so i’m home and ONL|NE again (y not? hahaha!) I’m planning to go to festival mall today to watch Mr and Mrs Smith and to buy some stuff. Haven’t decided yet…

It’s raining! C papa God tlga ayaw pa kong payagan manood ng sine… Anyway, i think i will go. I need a kikay kit because i would stay at the hospital on Monday. I have to take a bath there because i have classes on tuesday. Argh! i hate this! i hate this!

Game two tomorrow. I wish the Spurs more luck!

I posted another song of Hale, that is ‘Bent Down’. Just go and check it out! And if you got some more budget, better yet buy their album! hehehe! Love Hale!

*exits* 

My conscience is hurting my ear

But i’m happy as long as you are

I hide if I can, I don’t care where I stand

As long as you are bent down

You never said what does it mean

I’m speaking the same words again

But I will if you have to fall

I’m here if you want me at all

Just as long as you are bent down

She feels

I’m laid out for everything here

She keeps

Me away from this song of mine

I don’t know why this won’t stop

‘Cause maybe it just won’t stop

But it will if I hear you call

Though maybe you don’t care at all

But at least you’re the one bent down

You could be here

Oh you could be here

As close I can hold together as we’re told

For we’re the ones bent down.

***i wish i knew what it meant… hahaha! sana melody na lang to..hihi!***